Heaven’s Gate (1980): Minute by minute: part 10

14 Aug

Simon reaches double figures in his quest to give Micheal Cimino’s maligned gem, Heaven’s Gate, the attention it deserves.

10 of 229

The budget blow out probably took root during this speech. Look at all those outfits.

The budget blow out probably took root during this speech. Look at all those outfits.

John Hurt takes to the lectern. Here is what he said:

Class of ’70, (applause and cheers), I enjoy many things – a symmetrically hung photo frame, for instance. But there is no thing on this earth I enjoy more than clams. Oh, how the thought of a happy clam makes me tingle with excitement. I find every aspect of bivalve molluscs gives me great pleasure – from their spectacular shells to their soft gooey innards. There are many things one can do with a clam. Soup, chowder, pasta and even curries are a delectable vessel for the clam, but one must not discount non-culinary (polite applause), applications. Clams enjoy being taken to fairs and ice-rinks and great satisfaction can be obtained through witnessing a clam participating in wholesome activities at these venues. I once saw a clam ice dance to the music of Verdi and then frighten a local boy by lobbing itself into the child’s ice-cream cone. The boy was immediately hospitalised, but later saw the funny side. (Applause.) I have been known, by all of you, to do a great many things with clams. You are all aware that I often freeze clams, with the intent of later throwing them at dogs. I have, on occasion, placed them in pianos and I frequently use their shells as castanets in order to mock the Spanish. I have made a gold chair and I intend to spend my days sitting on it amongst the many clams I’ve accumulated and have passing travellers ask me questions. I… I feel alienated and I wear jumpers in the summer time even though it’s hot and makes people feel hotter when they look at me.”

Or at least that’s what I think he said – I don’t know, I had the sound down.

To read parts 1-9 of Simon’s Heaven’s Gate review (you know you must) click here. No, sorry here.

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