Heaven’s Gate Minute by Minute: 52 of 229

11 Aug

52 of 229

Shadowy figures descend a rickety staircase outside a cabin in the dead of night to meet a congregation of… oh it’s the bloody Stock Growers Association. Why do they have to be so clandestine? I got all excited. You produce cattle; you’re not fucking Masons! When you think cattlemen, you think *Bob Katter, not ritualistic samurai assassins.

And why the long walk down the stairs? If you were trying to shave twelve years off this monster film, a start would be to snip out unnecessary sequences of people walking to places. What was the point – to establish the head of the Stock Growers Association can negotiate multilevel planks of wood in low lighting? Is this how you become president of the Stock Growers Association? Wait for a solar eclipse and successfully walk down some steps? Because those two skills in conjunction might come in handy when representing people with cows. “Remove the opaque blindfold and behold our new leader! Go forth and broker contracts on our behalf!”

*For international readers who may not be familiar with Mr. Katter; Bob is a renowned Australian actor, famous for his portrayal as the Caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland and a stool in a film adaption of Nicholas Nickleby.

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