Heaven’s Gate Minute by Minute: 65 of 229

24 Aug

65 of 299

More transit, more walking to places, more wagons, more walking, more walking. The message of this film is exercise; slowly and… no, just slowly. Goodness! It’s a woman! And not one just babbling in Hungarian, for a change of pace. James has casually strolled to the house of a woman! And she’s happy to see him. Woooooo. They’re like, totes hugging. I wonder what she finds attractive about James? His boozy stench? I always splash some liquor over my clothes to attract the ladies. “Is that Jonnie Walker Blue you’re wearing?”

It’s more likely to be, “Is that Col Higgin’s Bathtub Moonshine dripping down the front of your shirt?” But a man can dream. The only way I’d be getting near Jonnie Walker Blue is if someone spilled it on me. Or if I fell into a vat while on a factory tour. Or if I hang on to my whiskey soaked, tattered jeans for another twenty years and naturally age it myself. Keep walking.

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