Heaven’s Gate Minute by Minute: 83 of 229

11 Sep

83 of 229

OK, someone stop that fucking roller-skating. Enough is enough! What is the point of this set piece? Oh Jeff Bridges falls over. There’s more of that archaic silent era jape I predicted. There had better be some great purpose to this scene. When conflict inevitably comes to Johnson County, it had better be a grand battle between the Stock Growers Association VS the Hungarian immigrants on roller skates.

“We’re fighting in a field! Surely these things can only hinder!”

“Shut up and slowly trudge forward; we’re skaters damn it!”

Retreating in that high-kneed, awkward stomp you have to perform when traversing a surface not conducive to skating, simply adds insult to injury. “Fall back and look as silly as you possibly can while doing so!”

“Shall we send in the infantry, or the foolish footwear division?”

“Neither. It’s the middle of summer. Send in the light snowboard brigade! Shuffle sideways, lads!”

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