Heaven’s Gate Minute by Minute: 88 of 229

16 Sep

88 of 229

Twirling and twirling and twirling! Not a care for the poor people of neighbouring South Dakota, whose homes have been destroyed by your dance hurricane. But I hope you had a good time, James and Ella. That’s all that matters, right?

“I don’t know anyone from the proud state of South Dakota, what do I care if it’s battered by monster winds?”

Well, let me tell you a little something about South Dakota. No President has ever been a native of the state and that’s because all the political talent keeps getting blown away! Every time some twerp from Wyoming waltzes, four or five potential statesmen are blown clean out of the country. They end up hundreds of kilometres north in Canada, confused, disorientated and unfamiliar with the local language. The only reason Mount Rushmore was built is so they could have some heads of states so large and heavy they could never be blown away.

A study out of a university that no longer has accreditation found that for Mount Rushmore to be swept away, it would take a hoedown encompassing the entire west coast of the United States. To my knowledge, such an even is yet to take place. But there’s a box social in coming up in Oregon that has the potential to get out of control.

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