Heaven’s Gate Minute by Minute: 201 of 209

2 Jun

201 of 209

This dressing scene is very unsettling. James and Ella are completely silent as they put on their sunday best. That doesn’t seem right. If American sitcoms have taught me anything, it’s that when a man and a woman get ready to go out they argue. Shouldn’t Ella be asking how she looks, forcing James to give stumbling awkward answers?

They’re finished dressing and are ready to go at the same time. This is nothing like a sitcom! Men get dressed quickly and try to rush the woman along. Comedy ensues. It’s simple math! Men + woman + their inherent differences = chuckles. It is so disrespectful to Everybody Loves Raymond, Home Improvement, Friends and According to Jim, to not perpetuate mindless humour when there is an opportunity.

Ella and Jim are greeted outside by Jeff Bridges. They’re acting very strange. Ella gives Jeff an awkward kiss on the cheek. It’s quite weird. It was a bit slow, lingering and icky. Something is afoot…

What is going on? They’re all just waiting around in silence for something to happen.

OMG! Gunfire! It’s the Prefect of the Stock Growers Association and his goons! Jeff is shot and Jim returns fire, taking out the Pope of the Stock Growers Association.

Oh no… oh no, oh no… Ella is hit. Blood pours from her wounds. It’s sad; the blood is gonna be a real pain to wash out of that pretty, white dress.

twitter.com/SimonGodfrey

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